August 15, 2014
After spending a full day at the Global Leadership Summit (and on the brink of embarking on Day 2 conference-ing) I have a confession to make…I love being a leader.
I love the power and influence that comes from seeing a team enact a vision that was birthed late at night and that maybe seemed too crazy or too far out or too whatever and yet turns out to be the absolute perfect thing at the right time. I love the scale and scope that being a leader affords me. I love being part of a team and intentionally (and continuously) working toward moving us from a disjointed group of people into a cohesive tribe. I love empowering my people to take risks and try new things and step into the giftings that I see, by virtue of my own vantage point, to be so clearly written into their lives.
Legit it’s hard work and it’s hard to be vulnerable to so many watching eyes. It’s hard to be a leader because the blame ultimately ends on you and while people are quick to praise you for the good stuff that happens, they’re even quicker to point fingers at you when it doesn’t work out. It’s tiring to have to manage a team of so many people and stay current in their lives and remember that they’re your peers, not your minions. And it’s hard at times to see the large picture and stay hopeful rather than get completely overwhelmed by the scope of it…by how the small wins almost seem to evaporate in the hard stuff that burns so constantly.
It’s an odd thing to realize that I do indeed love to lead because for the majority of my life I was so resolutely independent and relished my own unattached state because I thought it showed that I was strong. I think there is a strength shown in the ability to be alone and be content but in many ways I think that true strength might be shown in the ability to be with others…to be in a team member or a team leader and affirm each member so that everyone is better for the synergy.
So hard….so good….and so unrelated to anything dissertation-relevant but that’s okay because right now is the era of terrible writing to get back into the habit or writing and as I tell my team…no judgement in experimentation, rather we encourage and call out the good stuff that happens when someone has the courage to try. The learning happens later during the debrief.