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day 4 (of 20)

April 5, 2017

lisa hammershaimb

Products:

  • Added to script 1.0. I’m up to methodology in content and over ten minutes in spoken length so I think it’s trucking along at a good pace. I’m a bit stuck with some transitions i.e. how I can be truly convincing that the narrative that I am weaving together is logical and not requiring my audience to enter Lisa-reality to understand. I think its important I begin talking this to actual humans sooner than later to gauge reaction.

Process:
Process is so so so unsexy at times. Basically today it’s wearing pajamas, slouched over a laptop and read through my big proposal, my initial preview presentation, and assorted blog posts I’ve written along the way to copy/paste/reconfigure elements. This process feels way more like weaving together or compositing something from found objects rather than creating something fully new. It’s an interesting feeling of word and idea assemblage. I’m not sick of the ideas yet (which is good).

Perspective:
It still feels deeply surreal that I defend in such a short time. The cohort’s been sending me encouraging notes and being generally ridiculously supportive. It’s so nice to submerge in their assurance. That said I can’t help but shake the feeling that I’m headed into some sort of initiation rite and while it’s not spending a summer alone in the woods or fighting a bear it is something that’s going to be a massive milestone and also something that on some level I must do alone. Hearing stories of other people’s experiences is one thing…engaging in the experience in my own skin feels a million times more vivid. This is the season where I simultaneously want to be present/process everything and also often want nothing more than to have it all be over and feel nothing. I think my challenge is to stay in the now and just keep chipping away and getting a tiny bit stronger and less afraid each day.

Tomorrow:

  • For real, finish script 1.0
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