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day 19 (of 20)

April 20, 2017

lisa hammershaimb


  • Two complete run throughs including Q+A chat time with two completely different groupings of academics. Whew.

Today felt like a good run through for the “real day.” The first presentation was late afternoon (much like it will be on Friday) so I practiced trying to be a normal human for the morning and early afternoon–not giving too much into the desire to run into the mountains screaming, curl into the fetal position under the covers, etc. It helped that I had extended work meetings but even so, I think I have a somewhat good mental game plan for Friday morning.

The two groups I practiced with were composed of pretty vastly different academics. It was interesting to see and gauge reactions which honestly were quite different.

I left the first presentation (made up of primarily quantitative-oriented researchers) feeling deeply relieved that the experience was over. I think their comments and viewpoints were quite valid and interesting but they felt so far removed from my own grounding that enacting them in the ways they outlined really felt like they would remove “me” from the experience. As its ultimately my research (even though I’m not making the mistake that this will define me) this would be quite problematic. So…overall the experience felt super beneficial to see things from a viewpoint far outside of my own and also somehow through their eyes look back to be able to see, even more, where my own lines lie.

The second presentation was to people who are enrolled in the same program and institution as me. Though we are all studying different areas and are in no way really homogeneous…it still feels a bit to me like we’re an extended family and as such they’re a bit less intimidating. (Also…it was the second presentation so I didn’t have to wonder “if” I’d make it as just over an hour ago…I had.) The questions swirled around an entirely different set of items and they challenged me to dig into and consider some deeper “whys” in the research, digging into both its foundation and my own as an educator. I left the second presentation feeling profoundly thankful to have found this community.

And so one. more. day.

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