March 20, 2018
Convocation Countdown: 44 days
Defense Date: Confirmed. April 6, 3 p.m. Mountain Time Zone
…and just like that, I now have a confirmed defense date and time.
This afternoon I was physically in a meeting about student retention and tracking metrics (mentally maybe a bit checked out because #Monday) when the email came through…April 6. 3 p.m. MT. Mark your calendar. It’s official.
I’ve imagined this moment so many times over the last three months. Now that it has come, I can confirm it is even better than I could imagine. It’s a bit total relief like when you come up from being under water too long mixed with giddy excitement of a first date. It’s the good ache of being at the top of a mountain after you’ve spent way too long climbing uphill. It’s the buzz of getting lost in time as you’re making something…simultaneously totally unselfconscious and totally grounded, body and mind in harmony.
It is all the more sweet because this season has left me so broken…the many cracks have opened up so much more space for the light and for the joy to flow in. I realize now what a wonder and what a gift this actually is.
Tomorrow begins the for real, for real practicing and question predicting. Tomorrow begins re-reading the dissertation to remember what exactly past Lisa did and all the details that so quickly evaporated. Tomorrow begins the girl power warrior music on repeat and the positive self affirmations. Tonight it is resting. Tonight…it is savoring how it feels to be thankful in every part of my being. Tonight is peace.